These last few years has been about breaking the cycles & patterns that were seeped into the fibres of my body.
Through a lifetimes worth of extreme trauma, anxiety, depression, self harm & disease my body was ill in many ways.
A life time of being made in the darkness & growing in the shadows had played its part in breaking me.
I decided to instead of just picking myself up, I would lie down softly, I would listen & heal, I would break the cycle of abuse.
I would find the beast inside me and let it be my guide.
Everyday signs of health arrive into my body.
A softness & weight is slowly padding out my bones, my cycle has come back for the last 6 months after a lifetime of it not really being there, my belly is not bloated & it is changing shape, I’m more awake to life, I smell the bullshit a mile away & I’m clear and not foggy.
My gums don’t bleed, my hair is not breaking off, Im not scared & I’m strong.
I feel like a damn wolf warrior that has pulled myself out of the pit by my claws.
I became vegan which meant not just excluding meat and dairy but increasing veg and fruit, wild plants and ferments. I took out sugar and gluten and processed foods. I eat for my gut, I eat for clarity, for strength, for wholeness & for a clear conscience.
Food is the greatest medicine.
My life has changed dramatically & this last year I’ve seen huge results & felt more & more alive.
We really are our own healers & medicine women & men.
But to step into my medicine woman I had to learn to turn & face my shape shifting shadows and embrace them, to pick up my inner child from the rubble & dust them down, I love & forgave myself for all the hate & pain I had inflicted upon myself, I had to love myself for the being that was right there in that moment. Not wait until I was prettier or more successful, but love myself right there in that very moment & forever.
Without that love I would not have made the changes, I would have found excuses & danced with avoidance.
We are all amazing, we have made it to this point, we have made it through disasters, traumas, gut wrenching sadness & pain.
But here we are still standing. You are the hero of your story and the greatest love story you will ever know is the one you have with yourself.
Reclaim who you are. Relearn your heart language. Heal.